This morning, I reflected on how I got to this point in my spiritual life. My journey has not always easy or pleasant, but each and every experience definitely worthwhile.
(The following is from EnSpirit -- a class I designed in 2001.)
My awakening to spiritual consciousness, shifting from the seen to the unseen, and the re-membering of my authentic self, was a rocky road in the beginning. For the majority of my life it was easier for me to live in the energy of spirit, ignoring my body and floating about, rather than living in present.
I spent years resisting and denying what I knew I was here to do. The denial started when I was a young child. I had a vision of serving the people and that scared me. I ran crying to my mother she assured me that "I didn't have to -- " . . . . I believed her. She was wrong.
I created a life of resistance and at the same time learned about energy and the power of white light and knew instinctively how to use it for protection and send it long distances for others to use for healing.
The sound of OM vibrated through my head before I knew what it meant. I experienced many things along the way to being comfortable with my relationship to spirit including soul-travel and bi-locating, which I found easier than soul-travel!
I experienced the disappearance of my body into tiny cellular crystals of light energy. And during this time of confusion and spiritual chaos, I had visions, including spirits of three Aboriginals who stood at the foot of my bed while the Rainbow serpent lay squared on the mattress edges. They handed me a gift that I could not comprehend at the time, and now live.
I became aware of my past lives as a leader of people who were betrayed and slaughtered by others and I died in that lifetime swearing to never, ever to be responsible for anyone else's soul/spirit again.
I prayed for guidance and experienced a cacophony of noise and energy from too many spirits talking at once. I got to the point of giving up, turning a deaf ear to all input. I felt isolated and abandoned. My arguments with God were long and terrific and at times horrific -- until I realized, and accepted that the forces and energies of god and spiritual beings are on my side and want only the best for me.
The most vital thing I learned through all of this is that spirit is always with you, protecting you, leading you to do what serves you. You just have to say, YES, and open the door. Because, when you keep the door closed, spirit camps on your doorstep, using any means necessary to move you forward to activate your contract, through either choice points or surrender points.
Somewhere along the way, after a great many surrender points, I suppose I got tired of going one more round with god and chose to let her win. After all it truly is easier to ride the horse in the direction it's going!
Many Blessings, roi